This is a post I wrote two Mondays ago---the night before we went in to have Riley:
A couple days ago, my heart started to hurt thinking about having another baby. Don't get me wrong! I am thrilled about Riley's arrival and I even want more children than this. But, I'm realizing that these are the last days with my precious Addyson! I've never had to share my time or attention with anyone else. I can't even explain what my heart does when I go get her up in the morning, or after a nap, or when I get to see the smile on her face when I see her after she's been gone somewhere. I love that little girl with all my heart! Is she a handfull sometimes? YES! But, she is my heart running around outside of my body! She is so sweet and loving and I can't imagine having enough love in me to love another baby besides her. Will things change? Will I have enough hands for both of them? Will Addyson feel neglected? Will she feel love for Riley too?
Today I spent the morning snuggling with her, enjoying the last times that it will only be the two of us. Tonight I had to make myself walk out of her room when we put her to bed. I just wanted to lay down beside her all night! To love a child of your own has to be the biggest responsibility God could ever give us--yet, the greatest JOY He could ever give us.
Riley, we are so excited to meet you tomorrow! I am so thankful that God has allowed us to get pregnant again and parent another child. We are so blessed! Now, God, I need my heart to expand so I can fall in love with another baby girl..........
Wow, this made me cry because I remember these exact feelings!!! I was very emotional about it too because I was so in love with my Cash man. I actually remember the first time I got to hold Arden having all these millions of emotions....then just like that, God expands our hearts. The crazy thing Lisa, in a year you will love them both even more than you do now and you will wonder just when your heart will explode?! :) God Bless your little family!
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ReplyDeleteI was blessed just reading this :) and consider myself blessed to have been able to cry along with you when we met sweet Riley Kate! THANK GOD He does expand our hearts - and what a wonderful realization that there's nothing better to fill it with than LOVE!!! I'll need this pep talk again, you do realize - when/if Chris and I ever get pg again!! haha LOVE YOU GUYS
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